Have you ever wondered what a miniature cow, a dusty parking garage floor, a yukon gold potato, and a red paperclip have in common or how any of those seemingly random items could lead someone with no technical knowledge to create a website dedicated discussing them?  Well, my friend, you've come to the right place. Read below to assuage your curiosity or if you have insomnia, either way a win!

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For those of us who park in the underground of our garage, the path to urban civilization is a dim walk, lit by fluorescents flickering through a disco of dying ballasts and a quick ride up an elevator that occasionally smells like a Willie Nelson or Snoop Dog concert. It's a short trip and for the past 5 years, altogether uneventful. One morning in March, as I waited for the elevator to arrive, I glared at the myriad of dust bunnies and a haphazard pile of debris wondering did they not ever sweep down here. I'd seen that pile of trash for more months than I could count back to in my memory, but on that cold pre-spring morning, the white tic tac, red paperclip, and thin blue strip of arched plastic no longer seemed like trash. It had become familiar and the need to add to it took hold of me. Not one to pass up a good ADHD impulsive act, I quickly dug into my bag and retrieved a tiny brown cow and added it to the pile before the elevator arrived. Feeling no small sense of pride in my effort and hoping  a fellow 4th floor parker might have their spirits lifted by the sight of a tiny cow, I snapped a quick photo to show a coworker, whom we will call The Observer for his wish to be included but not "involved" in any shenanigans, and happily jaunted off to my building floor to work. 

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In just under a week, the tiny brown bovine had been cow-napped.  No disturbance to the minty tic tac or plastic coated paperclip, not a hair's width of movement from the plastic strip. All dust bunnies, rabbits really, accounted for. I thought how fun would it be to put up a Missing Cow sign and joked with The Observer about what it could say, but had not put thought to action, when to my surprize and udder amazement, when leaving work the very next evening, hanging proudly on the wall next to the 4th floor garage elevator call buttons hung the most phenomenal Missing Cow sign ever created. A beacon in red and black calling for the return of Mini McMooMoo, all 4.1 mm of him, from hoof to horn, with a helpful red circle in case you were unable to locate his tiny body from the other items shown. I knew then, we were no ordinary, run-of-the-mill folks on this 4th floor parking garage floor. 

 

​While Mini McMooMoo has never again graced us with his presence, I was in possession of a tiny white cow and while none could surely replace Mini, the new cow, let's call her Mootilda, was all too happy to stand up and stand out for Mini.

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Time marches on and so do missing cows. Eventually  Mootilda would wander off as well, although this time the heifer-jackers took the tic tac, paperclip, and plastic strip as well. Not the dust hares though; I fear they'd grown too big to carry. And, as had been the case previously with Mini, when I noticed Mootilda's absence, I reached into my bag once again and placed another cow at the base of the elevator.  No replacements for the tic tac or paperclip, I mean, who carries random items like that around?

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A missing, and replaced,  cow or two later, someone added a kitten, white seal, red squirrel, capybara, and a yukon gold potato. I suppose not everybody carries cows in their bags.  Hey, you work with what you've got!  It didn't take long for those items to go missing as well.  Who take a potato?!

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To date, I've placed 8 new cows post-Mootilda and Mini being absconded.  The week of May 4th,  someone (I think it's  my spirit person who posted the Missing Cow sign?) placed the cow on a leaf like a little boat. I had intended to add a canopy with another leaf and a toothpick, but alas, this smiling cow was whisked away as well. Not to worry! I've had to restock my bag but I have plenty more cows. I've considered leaving them Andy Dufresne style via a hole in my pants pocket and out  my pant leg, but ultimately decided to stare at the elevator bank camera as I add yet another cow, always from that same bag. 

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The Observer suggested increasing the size of the cows until one day I'm just sitting on the floor outside the elevator in a cow costume.

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​As previously stated, there is no limit to the cow cache, so this could go on for ages, however I do have a curiosity as to where the cows are being taken and by whom.  Is it aliens?...hooligan cow tippers?...rustlers?  I don't get the sense it's one of the great folks that keep our buildings clean. The only thing that hasn't been removed is the thick layer of dust and dirt on that floor.

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​I created this site for 2 reasons.

1. I simply must know who put up the Missing Cow sign and so cleverly named and described Mini McMooMoo. Also, very curious about the other additions.

2. There is an element of mystery and fun here and for anyone who would like to join to discuss the cow capers, or why someone had a yukon gold potato in their bag, what better place than a haveyouseenthiscow website? 

 

Looking forward to hilarious discussions and clever theories. Thanks for reading.